| Review of Episode 1, Season 5
"Conviction"
I give it...
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Wesley: I'm still stuck back at, "Why on earth are we here?" Fred: What, because we're crusaders against evil and now the law firm that represents most of the evil in the world has given us its LA branch to run however we want, probably in an attempt to corrupt, divide, or destroy us, and we all said yes in, like, 3 minutes? Wesley: You're run-on sentences have got a lot less pointless Fred: Oh, that's so sweet. And a tad condescending. Wesley: Feng Shui. Gunn: Right. What's that mean again? Wesley: That people will believe anything. Actually, in this place, Feng Shui will probably have enormous significance. I'll align my furniture the wrong way and suddenly catch fire or turn into a pudding. Lorne: (re: being presented some carpet samples) Yeah, that carpet’s great because I want our clients to become sick and vomit. Angel: (into speaker phone) Uh... can I get a cup of coffee or something? Phone menu voice: You have reached Ritual Sacrifice. For goats press one, or say "goats." (moments later, Angel presses another button) Phone menu voice: To sacrifice a loved one or pet, press the pound key. Angel: Harmony. Harmony: Hey! Boss. Angel: You’re my secretary? Harmony: (sighs) Hello! Assistant. Angel: Explain why I shouldn’t kill you? Harmony: Secretary’s fine. Angel: No, it’s not fine. Where is it fine? You’ve been working here? Harmony: Yeah-huh. Angel: Why? Harmony: Well, duh! I’m a single undead gal trying to make it in the big city -- I have to start somewhere and they’re evil here. They don’t judge. They’ve got the necrotempered glass -- (does a little dance) no burning up -- a great medical plan, and who needs dental more than us? Wesley: Well, I thought a familiar face would just the thing in a place like this. Angel: You turned evil a lot faster than I thought you would. Wesley: Nonsense Angel: What? I'm not allowed to hit people? Wesley: Not people capable of genocide Angel: Those are exactly the types of people I should be allowed to hit! Angel: (upon seeing his new cars) Oh, God, they're so beautiful. Gunn: (to the Judge) I’m asking that you recuse yourself from this trial. Judge: The thin ice you are on is over very deep water. (Gunn presents the Judges' stock connections to Fries) Judge: You submit that I could have possibly known about this connection? Gunn: I found out, and I’ve been on the case 6 hours. Judge: The ice is melting Counselor. Gunn: The Defense submits it has learned how to swim. Agent Hauser: You really think you can solve the problem? Come into Wolfram and Hart and make everything right? Turn night into glorious day? You pathetic little fairy. Angel: I'm not little. Wesley: (questioning) Spike. Angel: (irritated) Spike. Harmony: Blondie Bear?
Quotes by Staff Writer, BCangel
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