| Review of Episode 20, Season 3
"A New World"
I give it... Written by CoA Staff member, Ned Flanders
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Gunn: Angel, hate to bring it up, but are we sure this was Connor? Just because he said “Hi, Dad”?
Angel: Oh, it was him. Gunn: A couple weeks ago he was wearing diapers. Now he’s a teenager? Cordelia: Tell me we don’t live in a soap opera. Groo: (on the fissure) Princess, perhaps your newfound powers can seal it shut. Cordelia: Can’t hurt to try. I command you… close! (nothing happens) Okay, I got nothing. Fred: You went to Wesley’s for me. He’s the one who told you how to save me. Gunn: Yeah. He made it clear. That’s a door none of us is ever going to be knocking on again. Wesley: Dante’s Divine Comedy Lilah: Actually, it’s just part one. The Inferno. It’s not a first edition. More like the 1500s. But it is in the original Tuscan. Have you read it? Wesley: Several times. Lilah: Then you know it’s a guided tour of the underworld. The nine levels of hell. Wesley: Yes, descending, concentric rings based on the severity of the sin. Lilah: You know, I always forget. At the very bottom of hell, in the ninth circle, the devil’s frozen in ice, right? He’s got three heads, three mouths, and these mouths are reserved for the worst sinners. I can’t remember, who is in the center mouth? What was his name? The one person in all of human history who was deemed the greatest sinner. Who is it? Wesley: Judas Iscariot. Lilah: Right. The worst spot in hell is reserved for those who betray... So don’t pretend you’re too good to work for us. Gunn: (on Connor) He’s leaving a trail. Angel: What? Did he hurt somebody? Gunn: No, nothing like that. I mean gawkers. Folks not used to seeing a kid in animal skins riding on top of a bus. Well, not south of Santa Monica Boulevard, anyway. Fred: Two more Robin Hood reports. Tyke: An entire suit made of chamois. That’s different. "What are you wearing to the Oscars?" "My chamois suit." What’s all this? Connor: Things I killed. Tyke: (laughs) Ooh, aren’t you all scary. Chamois and teeth. Cordelia: Isn’t your neck stiff? You’ve been standing exactly like that all day. Groo: Pylean warriors are trained for such endurance. I once happened upon a herd of Burbeasts. And, as you know, engorged Burbeasts will couple with anything that moves. I was forced to stand perfectly still for eleven days and nights. Cordelia: So you were never… Groo: Heh, no. That honor was yours, Princess. Sunny: So, where’d you learn to fight all bad-ass like that? Connor: In Quor-Toth. Sunny: Quor-Toth. That’s in Mexico, right? Sunny: (to Connor) Lots of folks squat here. Most are cool, but if a fat guy wearing furry slippers asks you to play teddy-bear-in-the-hole with him, just tell him to get lost. Fred: Connor’s new to this world, alone, probably scared. Gunn: Yeah, he looked scared kicking my ass. Sunny: Parents should have to take like a test or something before they can have kids. And if they’re drunks or idiots or evil, they should just be sterilized. Connor: If they’re evil, they should be killed. Angel: What do you know about vampires? Connor: Decapitation, stake in the heart, daylight, fire. Did I forget anything? Mistress Meerna: I hope this pentagram wasn’t some dark attempt to close the fissure. Gunn: Uh, no. That was a dark attempt to open one. (pauses) Different one. Long story. Fred: (on the fissure) If there aren’t any portals, what is it? Mistress Meerna: A tear in reality. A big cosmic no-no. Something pounded its way through. Something I don’t want to meet. Angel: You’re not alone. You know that, right? Connor: Yeah. I know. (runs off) Holtz: (steps from the shadows) Hello, Son. Connor: Hi, Dad. Quotes by Council member, Seeker |