Review of Episode 12, Season 3 "Provider" Angel (David Boreanaz) should really get financial advice from that other immortal, the Highlander. Ha! Didn't the members of the Clan MacLeod have investment portfolios established over the centuries? As it is, it's interesting to see how much fatherhood has changed Angel. Remember 'I Fall to Pieces', from Season 1, when Angel said he didn't feel comfortable charging people for money? Times sure have changed. In fact, Angel and Cordy (Charisma Carpenter) did a complete role reversal. In those days, Cordy was bent on making money while Angel was bent on helping the hopeless. Yet throughout the episode, she kept reminding him not to lose sight of the mission. It was funny in the end after they rescued Fred (Amy Acker) to see how Angel admitted he was wrong and then having Cordy declare they earned every penny as the two exchange roles once again. I'm glad to see there's still some of the old Cordy still around. I'm gladder that Angel saw the light (metaphorically speaking) and came to his senses. Greed just doesn't become him. The zombie subplot involving Gunn (J. August Richards) and Wesley (Alexis Denisof) was too much of a 50's B-movie. It was an interesting twist to learn the girlfriend poisoned the boyfriend but it seemed too rushed (the same with the vampire nest subplot with Angel), not to mention it kept going from serious (the issue of stalking) to campy (the zombie thinking Wesley and Gunn were his ex's new suitors and then pouting since she wouldn't take him back). It just ended too quickly and cleanly so they could all save Fred. Speaking of whom, it was comical to see both Wesley and Gunn pining over her. Is that a love triangle we see on the horizon? Definitely something to make you go, 'hmmm'. How about that ending scene with Angel, Cordy, and Connor on the bed, speaking softly to one another, slowly drifting to sleep? I can see Angel and Cordy as an item before I can see Buffy (Sarah Michelle Gellar) and Spike (James Marsters) over on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. However, I do prefer Angel and Cordy as the brother and sister type as they've been shown rather than lovers. It's no secret by now that Joss Whedon -the MAN himself- will be returning to address the issue of Angel and Cordy's relationship next month. The award to funniest line of the week goes to Lorne (Andy Hallett) for his "I'll-never-know-the-love-of-a-woman-dot-com" remark. The runner-up is a tie between his comment that the décor is "Jules Verne meets Leona Helmsley", and Cordy's question about Fred's captors having groins. There were two things that I found disappointing in this episode, which was mostly a springboard to introduce the Gunn/Fred/Wesley love triangle and to up the Angel/Cordy relationship subplot. The first is Cordy's newfound demonic powers. I waited for a week to see what other abilities she has. The only thing we saw was her having a painless vision and trying to float. The second is Daniel Holtz (Keith Szarabajka) and Justine Cooper (Laurel Holloman). They really didn't do anything with them except establish they're uneasy allies, which is something we already knew. Since this really wasn't moved forward, I think it should've been shown in next week's episode so the three cases the detectives of Angel Investigations were on didn't seem so rushed. I give it... Review by CoA Staff member, Ned Flanders

CoA Stakes Rating Guide = Disappointing, stake it, bury it! = Not too bad, Lacking a few graves. = Typical Dark Avenger saves the day Saga. = Better still, Quality Headstones. = Outstanding! Reward it with mortality!

Wesley: (watching Fred with Connor) Adorable. Gunn: So sweet. Wesley: I meant the baby. Gunn: I meant the hot mama. Lorne: If this about the baby formula I snagged from the fridge last night, sorry. I was feeling a little peckish, and it was that or a glass of pig's blood. And by the way, baby formula and kahlua, not as bad as it sounds. Angel: Lorne, I need you to use your contacts and find out what Holtz is up to. He's out there somewhere, and we can never forget that. Finding him is our number one priority. Gunn: I thought you said... Angel: Finding Holtz and making money are our two number one priorities. Cordelia: (clears throat) Angel: Helping the helpless, finding Holtz, and making money are our three number one priorities. Holtz: We are here to determine whether or not you have the commitment necessary for the work at hand. Justine: At hand? That's a joke, right? Holtz: Why are you wasting my time? Justine: What do you want from me? Holtz: I just told you. Commitment. Something you must now convince me you have. (camera pans down to a screwdriver skewering Justine's hand to the table) So I've explained why I'm doing this. Why are you? Justine: Let's just say feeling something is better than feeling nothing. Wesley: (about his web articles on DNA Fusion Comparisons and Tri-ped Demon Populations) It's an exciting arena. Lorne: But one I'm sure we can all download at: I'll-never-know-the-love-of-a-woman-dot-com. Can we get down to business? Wesley: (on solving the Nhadrahs' puzzle) Could be interesting. Fred: Oh sure. These are puzzle people. Did you notice the designs on their tunics? Geometric shapes, each a prime number if you count the edges. Arranged in ascending order of exponential accumulation. Wesley: Yes, I did (pause) not notice that at all. Fred: Did I say something wrong? Lorne: No, no, no. They liked you. Fred: So much they ran away? Lorne: Something came up. They either have to consult with the Prince or go eat a cheese monkey. Did I mention rusty with the lingo? Sam: You have much experience with vampires? Angel: (straight faced) Some. Sam: Yeah, well, not like these. They're not out for blood. They want money. Angel: Money? Sam: Yeah, I know. Who ever heard of a vampire out to make a buck, right? Angel: (laughs) Angel: (to Connor) Hey, how's my little Magna Cum Laude, Notre Dame class of 2020? Angel: Have you been drinking? Lorne: Oh! I can hold my liquor, mister. Unfortunately, I can't say the same for my firewater. Fred: Aren't they the same thing? Lorne: Hey, Fred-girl. No, this is special firewater used to loosen the tongue of my Gar-wawk snitch. They like the water on fire, and there's chanting and a bong and look out Houston! Fred: Are you okay? Lorne: I was feeling seasick when we were still on dry land. Do I look greener than usual? Fred: (about the puzzle) Are we talking a closed curve of finite length in a simply connected domain of zero? (shrugs) That would be too easy, wouldn't it? Lorne: Oh! Hors d'oevres. Oh, really, I couldn't. I had eyeballs and insects for breakfast. Fred: I think I'm onto something here. Lorne: Yeah, me too. Unfortunately it requires a vomitorium. Brian: Okay. I read your diary once or twice. Does that give you a reason to poison me? Allie: (as Gunn and Wesley look stupefied) What? Uh.. You going to believe everything a zombie says? Wesley: Are you saying she killed you? Brian: I'd forgive her if she'd take me back. Gunn: You're kidding, right? Cordelia: (about the Nhadrahs) Lorne, do these guys have groins? Fred: Is that really important right now? Cordelia: Work with me kids. Lorne: I think so. I never knew one intimately. Cordelia: (kicks a Nhadrah in the groin and gets a loud clanging sound) Ow, ow, ow! Angel: Guys, can I say something? Money's important (pauses) but it isn't everything. I got... I got carried away. (looks over at the pile of money) I just never had a life that was totally dependent on me before. But that's no excuse. (looks at the money again) Where was I? Cordelia: Money's not the most important... Angel: No, it's not. What's important is family (pauses) and the mission. Cordelia: (after a long pause and looking at the money) They tried to cut Fred's head off. We earned every penny. Angel: Hold the baby. (everyone begins grabbing money furiously) Quotes by Council member, Seeker